I thought I would share another page from my 13 intentions book. This page is about holding the intention of family. My days can become so busy- running late for school and work, quickly doing homework before dinner, bath and bedtime - impatient for the hour or two I can steal away in the dark of night to make art work. I want to have more presence in those moments I share with my family. Slow down and feel how blessed I am.
This is difficult for me because I am someone who enjoys moving fast. I am not sure exactly where this came from. I find efficiency to be beautiful. I have often said that the real reason I am so efficient is that I am lazy. The quicker I can get a task completed, the more time I can sit around doing nothing... but in reality, I rarely ever sit around doing nothing. I speak quickly and hate it when people request that I slow down. The world sometimes feels like it moves so painfully slow that I might pull my hair out. (guess maybe I should pick a different saying). I commented once to my daughter that I was the rabbit in a world full of turtles. She told me that the turtle won the race. (I am going to be in such trouble when she is a teenager). I had a moment of clarity a couple of years ago where I thought that perhaps I don't want to slow down - or stop because I am afraid. The moment I entertained the notion, I quickly dismissed it. I guess it was really scary.
So, how do I slow down? How do I stop myself from missing the beauty that is my life? I don't just think that this is something that would be nice to change in myself. I understand that it is crucial for my survival. My hope is that by learning how to hold the intention of family, I can make the first steps in being a rabbit in recovery and maybe figure out what I am afraid of.